Minimalizing my relationships was one of the first steps I took in my journey toward more intentional living. It wasn’t about isolating myself; rather, it was about curating my connections so that the solitude I embrace becomes a sanctuary for self-growth, healing, and the nurturing of deeper, more meaningful bonds.
Solitude vs. Loneliness
I have been thinking a lot about how sometimes we all crave constant interaction—whether it is texting friends, hopping on social media, or setting up get-togethers—just to avoid feeling lonely. It makes sense: we are social creatures by nature. However, there is also something really valuable about being comfortable spending time by yourself. I am talking about solitude, which is different from feeling lonely. Solitude, to me, is when you choose to be alone to recharge or reflect, and it can bring a lot of benefits that might surprise you. I consider myself an introvert, and many would say that introverts naturally recharge by spending time alone. However, lately I have been thinking that more extroverted people could also benefit from solitude.
A lot of people mix up solitude with loneliness, and I agree it can look the same on the surface. However, loneliness feels like an unwanted absence of connection, while solitude is a conscious decision to step back and give yourself some space. Recent research by Luo and colleagues (2022) supports the idea that solitude can coexist with healthy social engagement. In a study of older adults, they found that longer-than-usual social interaction was followed by longer episodes of solitude, serving as a means to conserve energy and recover. Additionally, individuals with higher well-being and lower fatigue tended to spend even more time socializing after these periods of solitude—suggesting that balancing solitude and interaction can enhance overall quality of life. So it is definitely not about shutting the world out; it is about taking a breather and listening to your own thoughts.
One of the most amazing things about embracing solitude is discovering how capable you really are. When you give yourself that quiet time, you start to notice you can handle more on your own than you might have imagined. It is not that you do not ever need help or support—we all do at times—but when you realize you can meet some of your own needs, it boosts your confidence. You are basically building inner resources that stay with you, no matter what life throws your way.
Yes, it can be challenging to think straight when you are constantly surrounded by other people’s opinions or expectations. Solitude helps cut through that noise. Whether you are figuring out a big life decision or just trying to sort your thoughts, uninterrupted time can help you see things more clearly. Maybe you will discover a new interest, or realize you have been ignoring a goal that actually means a lot to you. It is like giving your brain a chance to breathe and process.
Developing Self-Sufficiency
Over the course of my journey, I have realized that self-sufficiency is so powerful because it lets you define growth on your own terms. You stop measuring yourself against other people’s timelines or standards and start trusting your own instincts, working at your own pace. You also become more comfortable asking for help when you really need it, because you are doing so from a place of strength rather than desperation. It is a healthier way to interact with the world around you.
It is important to remember that solitude does not mean isolation. Building self-sufficiency does not mean you push everyone away or stop enjoying human connection. In fact, when you know you can handle things on your own, you often form better, more balanced relationships. You spend time with friends or family because you genuinely want to, not because you need them to fill some void. That shift can make your connections feel more authentic and fulfilling for everyone involved.
If you want to explore self-sufficiency, start small. Maybe set aside ten or fifteen minutes a day just to reflect—avoiding screens, music, and other distractions—and try to reach a meditative state. You could also journal or go for a quiet walk. Over time, you will likely notice that these moments of solitude help you recharge and feel more in tune with who you are. From there, it becomes easier to tackle challenges independently and be more discerning about when you do ask for help. In another article, I explore in greater depth how solitude influenced the development of my identity during a time when it was still unfolding.
Cultivating Meaningful Connections
As a child, I often envied people who always had a crowd around them, imagining it must feel wonderful to be so well liked and listened to all the time. Over the years, though, I realized that simply having more people in your life does not guarantee genuine happiness or fulfillment. Sometimes, it can even lead to shallow connections or leave you more emotionally drained than ever.
Rather than chasing popularity for its own sake, I decided to be more intentional about the company I keep. I took a close look at each relationship in my life and asked myself whether it truly uplifted me or just sapped my energy. From that point on, I resolved not to surround myself with anyone who brought me down or caused unnecessary stress.
Instead, I focus on people who challenge me to grow, inspire me, and treat me with kindness. They respect my need for solitude and never pressure me to be someone I am not. However, when I do feel like opening up and socializing, they welcome me with warmth and understanding. While I deeply value my solitude, I also treasure the warmth of close friendships and the joy of sharing our journeys together.
Ultimately, I have discovered that it is not the size of your social circle that counts—it is the depth of the connections you cultivate. Genuine bonds, built on respect, support, and mutual understanding, offer a sense of comfort and belonging that no “crowd” could ever replace.
I’d love to hear from your personal experiences. How do you navigate the balance between solitude and meaningful connections in your life? Do you find it easy or difficult to prioritize quality over quantity in your relationships? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
